Hi friends,
When I reached the subway platform of my home station at 8:25 AM yesterday, someone had already called for help. A woman was on the tracks. She had been running for the shuttle train, which is just three cars long, when she slipped and fell onto the tracks.
If that’s not a good reminder to stop rushing around like a New Yorker, I don’t know what is. I slowed down and walked to the far end of the platform. The woman was standing up and talking when I passed, so I think she’s okay.
Later, when I got home, I wanted to start drafting this post and accidentally re-sent an old post. It must be a new feature of Substack. Anyway, if you were wondering why you got a 2023 post yesterday, that’s why. Oops.
I had just come from a class in which we were discussing the human condition and the efforts to ‘improve’ or change people whom the society views as flawed. We had read George Saunders’s story, “Escape from Spiderhead” and “Flowers for Algernon” by Daniel Keyes. Both are good reads if you need some short fiction.
There was a spirited discussion of how we behave toward and think about people whom we perceive as not-as-smart as we are.
One of my classmates talked about the people in her conservative, rural hometown, who generally feel condescended to and threatened by more urban, more educated Americans. This points to a fundamental problem that we’re all having.
Very little good comes from feeling threatened or resentful. We lash out, hunker down, or just try to hold our ground. I would venture to say that this is happening on the left and the right. We all believe we are protecting ourselves, but everyone’s feeling of being unsafe is heightened.
Having re-posted a newsletter from last year, I figured I should reread it. It was depressing that so much of it is still so relevant and that we remain stuck in a deep, polarizing groove.
The other day, my longest friend told me that I have a singular gift for dropping the rope. What she meant is that I refuse to play tug-of-war; I drop the rope, which causes other people to lose their footing in a fruitless verbal struggle.
Asking questions, not in a smarty-pants way, but with curiosity, can help. If we can try to understand why people (including ourselves) think what they think and then dig in their heels, we can at least understand what they’re afraid of. We are all afraid.
To be clear, I am not suggesting that we stop working for justice, although we are pausing today.
Let’s try to alter the way we talk to and about each other. A little less rancor would help.
Paolo Freire, an influential Brazilian philosopher and teacher, believed that the purpose of education is to enable us to become more fully human. When we cultivate our own humanity, it’s easier to see how frightened other people are, to show more compassion, and to move from the verbal tug-of-war to a gentler and more respectful place.
That said, it’s very hard to be human.
I’m going to follow my own advice and be a little gentler with myself. I’ll be back next week with good news. I’m heading up to Vermont to look at the sky (with proper eye protection).
with love,
L